Independent Accredited Psychotherapist
MNCS, Hyp.Dip, Ad.Dip.CP
Approachable, Personal, Confidential
'Ancient Solutions, Modern Approaches'

Julie Morley Psychotherapy 


What do I talk about in Therapy?

Make it Part of Your Life:

Therapy works best when a person takes their learning in therapy and applies it to their every day life.  This could be different ways of talking with others, observing new things that you now notice, or being aware of the new self understanding and thinking and feeling about how this affects you, and then bring this all back into the therapy room. Some people write journals or a diary about their therapy and this helps them to process the changes.

Describing Thoughts and feelings:

Therapy also works best when a person completely takes parts and is willing to share thoughts or memories that pop up during the session. Therapists really don't mind how strange or unusual you think it might sound, it is highly unlikely that the therapist will be surprised by what you say. In fact they will be pleased to hear what's going on inside you as therapists like to work with the unconscious mind and the conscious mind and so no matter how silly it seems, it is actually likely to be very useful.

Ask the Therapist:

There are no rules about asking your therapist questions.  Your therapist should explain boundaries and how this works so go ahead- ask away!
You might not get the type of answer you were looking for but you should get a reason why not, and you might learn something about yourself in the process.

Try New Things:

Therapy is a great place for thinkers to try feeling, listeners to practice talking, passive people to learn to be assertive.  There is a lot of learning to be got in therapy about yourself, other people, sociology, psychology, evolution, communication theory, the mind, the brain and much much more.

The Therapy Relationship:

Be aware of how you and your therapist are getting along. How are the two of you working together?  How well do you understand each other?  Is therapy helping or hurting at this point and most importantly, how do you FEEL ?  Feel free to discuss this with your therapist.  If you are considering ending therapy, discuss this too.  It might feel awkward for you but your therapist will be open to your thoughts about this.  If you feel irritated or annoyed at your therapist, this too can be quite normal in the therapy relationship so discussing this will not be out of the ordinary. In fact it is likely to be helpful to your therapy.

Use your therapy Hour effectivly:
It can be a good idea to turn up a few minutes early to your session and rest in your car or near-by taking time to slow down from normal every day life and feel ready for your session and not rushed.


Don't let payment get in the way:

No one particularly likes dealing with money issues and it is particularly awkward to do this after an in-depth or powerful session. So get the financial issue sorted before hand by either having the payment in cash and ready without needing change, or set up a bank transfer by arranging this with your therapist.

Go Deeper:

If you find yourself running through mundane details of your week or hitting awkward silences, maybe there's a deeper issue you're avoiding.  AIf your therapist doesn't pick this up and guide you, then try asking this of yourself.  What it is you're not talking about and then explain your thinking and then try to talk about it. Discuss what you're discovering about yourself.

Some great work can be done when a person takes the time to explore why they are like they are, how they feel when something happens and explore conflicting thoughts or feelings that happen within.

Enjoy Yourself:
Therapy is like enrolling in a course where you are the subject matter. If you're curious, teachable and motivated to do some work, it can be one of the most challenging but rewarding courses you ever take

Share your Dreams:

Bring in dreams, daydreams and fantasies, especially those about therapy. This can assist your therapy because it can tell the therapist so much about how you function and sometimes about your past history in a fast way.

Allow Change:

Some people ask for change but feel uncomfortable when it actually happens. Accept that if you're seeking change, that it can feel uncomfortable and this may be more of a change than you thought it would be and might affect you more than you thought it would.  Discuss this. Some things take a major life overhaul and some are much smaller but very profound.

If you get stuck:

If you find yourself feeling stuck and not sure what to talk about or where therapy is going, the chances are, your therapist is very aware of this and will not be surprised if you bring this subject up for discussion.  They should be pleased that you are noticing and they should know what to do about these feelings of being stuck in the therapy process.

Challenge Jargon:

Some therapists struggle to talk in normal language or in a way that suits you so if this happens and you don't quite understand something, then say so.